tomorrow is a long time...

As the end of the quarter gets closer, I'm confronted with a bizarre mix of excitement and panic. The last few weeks have been horribly trying and I am eagerly anticipating the upcoming break.

Although the upcoming week is actually finals week, I'm fairly certain that last week was far more taxing that this week will be. As always, I was fairly busy with a couple committments in addition to the regular coursework. Although classes were fairly light, we had an exam every day. When we weren't taking an exam, most of us were studying for nearly ten hours straight. It was that cycle that we as medical students are all too familiar with - wake up before sunrise, take an exam, and study until bedtime. Although we have become very familiar with this routine, I think this past week was the first time that we have been expected to repeat it so frequently.

In addition to the normal stress and pressures that come along with the exams, this week had a very unique set of stressors that I had not noticed before. Because I had various commitments that required me to be a little more flexible with my schedule, I was attending classes on a more unpredictable schedule. This included coming in late, leaving early, or not even attending at all. Having been a traditional "class-goer," this made me really adapt my studying habits. It was really strange to feel like I was losing touch with a lot of the people I have become so accustomed. It was an awkward feeling of isolation and dissociation.

What made that even more stresful was that I was getting a strange sensation of cabin fever. The number of exams had pretty much forced us to our habitual study grounds. As most of us have marked our territory in our favorite study areas, we grew familiar with another group of people. While we often spend six hours of each day in class with the same people, this past week was absolutely mind-numbing with the amount of time spent with the same people. Often times, I was spending nearly every waking minute with the same people, studying in the Anatomy Building. There was almost no reprieve from the quirks and idiosyncracies of our classmates. It was a strange juxtaposition of losing touch with one group and spending so much time with another that cause some sort of potentiation, an additive effect. As the end of the week approached, all I could think about was curling up in my bed and think of nothing other than oblivion.

Fortunately, we were blessed with a string of great weather. Wednesday was exceptionally warm and sunny. The wind was steady, but gentle. I headed over to the study lounge after our Pharmacology Exam where Nate Jenson and I decided that there was absolutely no way we would be able to stay inside. Although I had planned on spending the entire afternoon in there again, I walked into the room, dropped my backpack on the desk and knew there was no way I could possibly spend another twelve hours plastered to the wooden chair staring at my pathology notes. We drove off to Thousand Hills to enjoy the sun and weather. We wound up finding an area on a hill by the lake and sat there, contently looking over our notes. Esther and Ben eventually joined us for a long overdue change of scenary. Although it was only four hours, I strongly believe that that brief move out of the Anatomy Building gave us the ability to refocus and recharge before heading back to the grind.

By the time Friday had rolled around, I had become such a ridiculous ball of nerves that I could do nothing but relax. It was time well spent. After a great lunch at Il Spazio, Aaron, Jeremiah and I joined Nate Scherer at the Dukum and played shuffleboard over Guiness for nearly four hours. I can't say that I noticed the time pass, possibly partially due to the volume of Guiness, but more so due to the fact that we weren't studying. It was another great instance of time well spent. The day ended with a birthday dinner for Danielle and Buddy and the post-dinner at Dukum. It had been such a long time since I had been out and it was long overdue.

I spent most of yesterday recovering from the week. I slept in until about 9am and ran a couple of errands. Sadly, this included attending to an oversized pile of laundry that had been accumlating in the hallway. I had even gone so far as to move the laundry bin into the hallway to remind me that this had been long overdue. Surprisingly, the dishes were done - a fact I attribute to the ridiculous amount of fast food that I was forced to ingest during the hectic schedule of the previous five days. After taking care of my apartment, I headed across the street to print off several additional materials I would need to start studying for our actual "finals week." There was a little tutoring after that, and a little volleyball - the first bit of physical activity I had allowed myself during that week.

That night, I was fortunate to spend time with my friends from the "left side." I find it funny that I constantly categorize my friends by the side of the classroom they sit on. It's actually a common phenomenon in our class. Anyway, we were at Dusten and Nicole Wessel's for a very different Saturday evening of drinks and cards. It was a great experience to interact with the guys I spent most of my time with last year. It was especially nice because they, like I are typically "class-goers." Because of my unpredictable schedule, I haven't been able to walk into class and sit in my usual spot next to them. In addition, I haven't been able to get into school during the typical times to study with them. In a sense, I had the uneasy feeling that we were losing touch with each other despite being in the same class with them. So, being able to hang out with them was such a great time.

With that being said, I'm sitting on my couch on Sunday night. I called it an early night for studying and I will likely be up early tomorrow morning to review for the Surgery final. One thing I will say that has been a great inspiration is a video I found while poking around the internet. It's called Kintaro Walks Japan. I was watching it and was instantly reminded of those words from Dr. Vick's wake that I alluded to earlier; "Go somewhere - anywhere. Do something - anything." The past couple days have been filled with some uneasiness about the upcoming trip I planned out to Phoenix for apartment hunting. I hope to take some time out at the end of the trip to visit Zion and Arches National Parks. I've been there once with my family on a summer vacation, but I suspect that I was too young to fully appreciate it. So, in the vein of both Dr. Vick and Tyler MacNiven, I hope this small road trip will be inspiring and invigorating.