Jesus in a Jar

I guess it is kinda like "Christ on a Bicycle!" but this phrase is quite literal. That's right. Some lady in South Dakota believes she has put Jesus in a Jar - a 14oz. jar to be exact. Seriously, who comes up with these things?

Now selling the Holiest of Fragrances: Jesus

I think I'm going to look up some passages and make a line of Jehovah perfumes and colognes.

the destruction begins

The assignment in anatomy lab today: rip off someone's head. I would really like to say that statement is an exaggeration, but seriously, we took a chisel and hammered it in between the cadaver's skull and vertebrae in attempt to "disarticulate" it. Ideally, I would like to paint the picture that this was done gracefully and elegantly, but I believe that to be impossible when we were using a hacksaw and hammers for the majority of lab. This was culminated by the rather brutal separation of head and neck at the end of lab. However, to paint this in an academic light, after three hours of manual labor, we did save all of three structures: the transverse ligament of the atlas, the greater occipital nerves and the vertebral arteries.

its a cruel world...

I knew that medical school was going to be brutal, but I had no idea that it would ever be this bad. It was not a good day for tact in the medical profession. First, in a cervical spine treatment lab, my female partner was told by one of the instructors that she had a "fat neck" and I would need to attempt to treat her with alternate techniques. After making said comment, the instructor paused, realized what she had said and realized that there was no recovery from this obvious insensitivity. This experience obviously desensitized me to any sense of inappropriateness as I proceeded to reveal my stereotypes for all the cliques in our class (e.g. "The Dirty Granolas," "The Dirty South," "The OBs" [yes, like in Scrubs], "The Sorority," "The Boy Sorority" [formerly referred to as "The Fraternity"], "The Mormons," etc...) over lunch... in public... in the hospital cafeteria. Yes. But it doesn't stop there. We then had a small group session with a clinician where we reviewed videotapes of a simulated patient encounter. Our doctor singled out one of the girls (out of five people in the room) and said that her school ID picture looked nothing like her. I will say that she attempted to tactfully state that the student had obviously lost some weight and she looked thinner now. However, as astute clinicians, we were able to translate "you look happier and more... mmm... relaxed now" to "holy crap, you lost a shit-ton of weight." So, yes. Today was not a good day for tact in medicine.

they will pay...

they've taken away my instant messenger... I don't know how, I don't know why, but someone is going to pay...

mcat and medical school

"here is what I know: if you are willing to take the chance, the view from the other side is spectacular." -grey's anatomy.

I'm a nerd but it is basically what keeps me going. I hate it when my life is basically a soap opera. well, good luck MCAT-ers! keep thinking about that life!

screw studying

the fighting illini are victorious once again... we'll see you in the championship.

april fool's for medical schools

so of all the days to wake up late. I open my door and what do I see? saran wrap... loosely applied, but covering my entire door. of course, because I'm sleep deprived and still foggy-eyed after putting my contacts in, I'm wondering what the hell happened and how spiders managed to encase my entire door in cobwebs. on the bright side, the pranksters paid with a little retribution I call "KY Jelly."