the cost of mindlessness

I wish I could say that our silent night camping was interrupted only by the soothing sounds of the wind blowing and the owls hooting, but that be ignoring the sound of a search helicopter swooping by our camp about five times - seemingly lower with each pass. Regardless, I awoke a couple times during the night to readjust the "Nalgene heater" to warm my feet. I hadn't planned to sleep in such frigid conditions and I was a bit unprepared for the 32-degree weather. So, it wasn't surprising that I was out of the tent the moment the sun peeked over our rocky surroundings.

I walked over the crunchy, snow-covered rocks toward Paul and Kristi's tent to wake them for the view. I then hiked a little further east and climbed some rocks to get the full view of the valley. It was amazing how much the landscape had changed as the sunlight spilled over the mountains. I snapped a couple pictures as Kristi and Paul joined me. Paul brought out his stove and started working on cups of coffee. I'm not exactly sure if the coffee was warming me from the inside or if the sunlight started to heat the air, but the cold seemed to disappear as we started moving around. Even so, as I looked about the landscape, I noticed that my leg was still a bit cold, as if the wind was piercing my jeans. I looked down and noticed that I had somehow caused a small defect in the crotch of my jeans to grow into a full-blown, five-inch tear down the inseam. I was strangely relaxed about the ordeal and Paul graciously donated some duct tape to make myself decent again. As we enjoyed the sunrise, the Sheriff's search helicopter alerted us that the search continued for the two missing girls.

Around 8am, we broke camp and headed back down the trail. The rocks that were covered with ice last night had begun to warm and the ice was melting away. Many of the rock faces trickled with water that had melted away from the snowy summit. We crossed paths with several hikers making their trek up the trail and were notified that the search and rescue team had organized at the trailhead and were still actively searching for the two missing girls. The path was far easier to follow under the bright sunlight and we made it down the trail easily within an hour and a half. Back at the trailhead, we discovered that the two girls had been found. As it turns out, they got lost last night and were forced to camp overnight and follow a different trail back to the trailhead.

With that news, we headed back to the cars and I had nothing more on my mind than to change my pants and charge my phone. I quickly emptied my pockets and placed my camera on the car before heading to my backpack to get my phone charger. I plugged my phone in and ran to the pile of clothes I had displaced from my pack last night. It was time to change into shorts! I ran into the public restroom and changed out of the somwhat ruined jeans. As I headed back, everyone was rearranging their things and had put out a small bag of trail mix. We snacked on the mix for a bit before deciding to head into Tempe for coffee. Buddy and I had a couple of appointments shortly after the noon hour. So, we packed up the car and headed out back towards civilization.

The drive went slowly and my somewhat restless night was evidenced by my brief lapses or consciousness as we drove in the broad daylight toward Tempe. I awoke as we pulled into a parking lot on the north side of campus. I got out of the car and started to gather my things together and noticed that my camera was not in its usual spot in my backpack. My stomach sank as I realized what must have happened. Did I leave it on top of the car? The answer became evident as we searched the car without any success. Even worse, we had just driven forty minutes from the trailhead. If we went back, there is no way we would be back in time for our 12:30 appointment. In a desperate attempt to salvage the camera, I called the realtor and pushed our appointment back half an hour. Hopefully, this would give us enough time to go back, scour the parking lot, and drive back.

So we headed back toward the trailhead. I was acutely awake at this point contemplating what I was more upset about; losing my camera or losing some of the greatest pictures I have taken. We got back to the trailhead and saw the same deputy that greeted us as we left the trail. Unfortunately, he said that no one had turned in a lost camera and the impression I got was that the chances of that happening would be fairly slim. I guess deep down, I knew that would be the case, but I had hoped that one brief moment of mindlessness wouldn't end like that. Disheartened, we headed back toward Tempe to look at another property. Despite pushing back the appointment, it didn't look like we would make it in time. So, I called to see if he could wait just a bit longer. He said that he was taking off and maybe we would be able to reschedule for tomorrow.

With that, we headed towards the other property we looked at yesterday. When we arrive, we noted that once again, the workers were not there and we would not be able to walk through the property. I called the realtor and set up an appointment for 9am tomorrow. Only later would I realize that an early appointment would mean that we would need to stay in the hotel again. So, we repeated our ridiculous hunt for a hotel room and wound up encountering the same issues. We wound up back at the Days Inn and Buddy and I set up next to the pool to utilize the wireless internet. I didn't have much luck with any other properties but Buddy found a couple. He also got in touch with another realtor that may have some promising results.

Paul and Kristi headed out to Scottsdale where there was some renowned brewery with about 130 overpriced beers on tap. They called us and we tried to finish up our last bits of business. Unfortunately, after we finished and showered, they were on their way out. So, they decided to meet us back at the hotel so we could make plans for dinner. We eventually met up with Sandra Till for Ethiopian food at the Blue Nile and beer at Four Peaks Brewery. I was exhausted at this point and it showed as my eyelids began drooping at 11:00pm. After becoming near-painfully full of food and beer, we retired back to the hotel.

the twilight zone...

So we woke up this morning and managed to file everyone in and out of the shower. After checking out of the headed over to campus and were once again met with the gruff front desk personnel. After identifying ourselves to them, we had a long conversation regarding the differences between the medical school and the health sciences school. We also got some pretty useful tips about locations that would suit our needs. As we continued to do research, Paul and I decided that today would be an ideal day to find an In-n-Out and indulge in some double-double goodness.

As lunchtime rolled around, we found the nearest location on the internet. We were astonished that the nearest In-n-Out would be a mere four blocks away. We committed the location to memory and headed out in our search for fast food. Though we held our course steady, the In-n-Out could not be found. We became so befuddled that Buddy and I eventually had to pull over for gas. Conveniently, this gave us the opportunity to ask for directions. This proved invaluable as we had underestimated the distance and the In-n-Out was off the road just five blocks away from campus. With renewed resolve, we rushed toward the fast food mecca and were greated by the fragrant aroma of ground beef on a griddle.

Lunch was as expected - unhealthy nearing toxic, yet unexplicably delicious. We left the In-n-Out and headed toward REI, where we would be gathering some last minute items for our evening hike and camp. Having slept on Paul's Therm-a-Rest pad last night, I was convinced that this was something I needed to have. So, I looked around for one and found a pretty sweet deal on a similar REI model. With purchase in hand, Buddy and I headed off to our first house showing just a couple of blocks away.

We arrived at a mediocre looking house just outside the ASU campus. From the road, it looked cozy and livable and we were eager to see the interior. That soon changed as we walked into the front common area and saw what appeared to be the aftermath of an undergraduate orgy. There were cups and bottles strewn across the floor. Dirt had accumulated in the corners as well as in random splotches throughout. Things only got worse as we travelled through the kitchen and dining area - dirty dishes, leftover food, and empty pizza boxes riddled the countertops and table. As we headed outside, the scene continued by the pool. We were, however, amused to find that parts of the patio furniture had been submerged in the pool. Needless to say, we both knew that this house was not going to rank highly on our list.

We left that property with slightly sunken spirits and hopes that the other houses would be significantly better. We headed a couple blocks south where another house was being renovated and was open for walkthroughs. We arrived in a small cul-de-sac and were in the company of other people looking at the house. The floorplan was slightly bizarre. The house is a four-bedroom, three-bath with one bedroom and bath being enclosed in a studio apartment setup in the back corner. Otherwise, the house was bright and looked like significant improvements were being made on the property. This was a great relief as we realized that there was hope in finding livable space.

The last property we looked at today was just a few blocks from the last. We were told by the real estate agent that there were renovations being done and we would be able to walk around while the workers were present. We arrived at 3pm and much to our surprise, the door was locked and nobody was at the house. So, we took a look around the outside and peered through the windows to get some previews of the interior. It looked promising. In addition, we spoke to one of the neighbors about the neighborhood and area and felt very comfortable knowing that we would be in good company in this community. So, without any way to get into the house, we decided to contact the realtor to set up a time for her to give us a tour and call it a day.

We returned to the Mesa campus and started working on tomorrow's schedule. Paul and Kristi researched the best options for hiking and camping tonight and eventually met us at school. We chose to hike up the Peralta Trail through the Superstition Mountains about 40 miles southeast of Phoenix. It was getting dark but we were optomistic about hiking under the near full moon. The trail spans about 2.5 miles and an elevation of about 1700 feet. This was promising to be a very exciting experience.

So, we left campus and headed out to the trailhead. The dirt road that led to the trailhead was not very well lit and had several suprises in store for us. The most notable was a corral jailbreak that led to a standoff between our car and a huge steer. After the cattle retreated, we were able to continue our trip to the trailhead. A mere four dollars allowed us to park and camp for the night. We packed our gear and snacked on some sandwiches before heading off onto the moonlit trail.

The first leg of the trail was fairly easy. It was mostly a well-trodden gravel trail that cut through the cacti and desert brush. The moon was more than enough to illuminate the path. As we headed deeper into the trail, some more significant brush appeared and some taller ground cover made the path somewhat more obscure. At one point, we wound up slightly off-course, climbing rocks and traversing streams. However, we managed to find our way through thick bushes back onto the trail. The next leg was more arduous with the ascent up the mountain becoming more apparent. In addition, we started seeing signs of the snow that had dumped over the mountain last night. About halfway up the trail, I started to get get winded and could feel my lungs burning up. Surprisingly, it wasn't so much the muscular fatigue as the cardiovascular. I needed to take a break. There seemed to be programmed rest points on the trail, where the view was breathtaking. I would periodically sit down to take a couple pictures of the amazing rock face that was set in front of the clear, starry night sky.

Nearly two hours into the hike, I was absolutely confused. Is it possible that we overshot our goal? Surely it wouldn't take us this long to get to our destination. In addition, the trail was becoming more precarious as it narrowed on the mountainside and ice laminated most of the rocks. Upon reaching an overhang with a significant flat, I thought that this would probably be the end. However, after a significant break, we decided to continue a bit further with hopes that the summit would be close. Fortunately, we were close. Within about 500 yards, we reached the top of a small mesa.

The view was amazing. There was snow everywhere and we were able to walk around freely without fear of tiny crevasses. We found places to set up camp and were quickly enervated by our surroundings. It was surreal. The air was fairly dry and almost warm. However, as the night progressed, the temperature would quickly drop to near-freezing. We didn't really have anything except take in our surroundings. I took several surreal pictures on a thirty-second shutter speed. We were surprised when we heard voices approaching our location around 1am. As it turns out, two girls have gone missing from a hike this morning. With that frightening bit of information, we decided to turn in for the night. Paul went to work boiling water to place in our Nalgenes. We have stuffed these rudimentary heaters into our sleeping bags in hopes that they would provide a source of heat during the frigid night. A simple and amazing plan that will hopefully keep me from losing my fingers and toes as we sleep in the wintery Superstition Mountains.

so it begins...

As expected, Buddy and I woke up to the chilly morning air and sunlight pouring through the humidified windows. Much to our surprise, the parking lot at school was rather full and campus seemed to be fairly busy for a Sunday morning. Around 8am or so, we crawled out of our sleeping bags and did our best to appear somewhat presentable before heading into the school. The building is quite different to the structure we call "school" and we were caught off-guard when we were asked to sign in at the front desk and present identification. It was a very different feel than the open campus we were used to in Kirksville. After clearing the front desk, we immediately setup a base camp within the student lounge on the first floor.

One of the first items of business was to secure housing for the evening. I immediately called the Econo Logde in hopes of finding a vacancy. I must admit that I was surprised when the front desk informed me that there were vacancies, but even more so when he said he was too busy to take my reservation on the phone. He suggested that we come in around 11am. With that, we began our furious housing search. We managed to locate the name of a real estate agent as well as some promising properties over the internet. We left some messages and sent some e-mails and hoped to hear back from these leads by the afternoon.

Right around that time, we decided to head out to the Econo Lodge to actually reserve a room for the evening. Paul and Kristi were also coming down so it was going to be a incredibly economic four-way split for the room. Imagine my surprise when we walked into the lobby and the front desk said that they had just booked their last room fifteen minutes ago. So, we were consigned to pursue the other hotels in our search for shelter. Fortunately, we came across a Days Inn with a vacancy and quickly snatched up the room. The best part about having a hotel room was that we would finally be able to take a shower. We quickly moved our belongings into the room and washed off the last twenty hours of our road trip. We then headed out refreshed and revitalized.

We picked up a map and newspaper at the gas station and returned to the school to continue searching for properites. We were ecstatic to receive return phone calls from a couple property owners near ASU. We set up an appointment for tomorrow and felt as though we were well on our way. While on campus, we ran across a few more properties on the internet as well as several advertised through the classifieds in the paper. We started making a list and began calling people for appointments. After several hours at school, we decided to return to the hotel in search of dinner.

Making our way back to the Days Inn, both Buddy and myself had an unexplained craving for mexican food. I know we have mexican food in Kirksville, but there was something about having it so close to the border. It sounds stupid, I know, but we were both fairly sleep-deprived and it's difficult to explain exactly how our brains were operating at the time. After driving around for a few minutes, we discovered Salsitas, a little place next to the hotel. So, we parked the car outside our room and walked over to the little stand. As expected, the food was cheap and delicious. After finishing a most satisfying dinner, we returned to the room and awaited Kristi and Paul's arrival. I can't say that I was conscious the entire time we were waiting and all we could do was turn on the TV and let our bodies enjoy some much needed relaxation.

Kristi and Paul finally arrived around 9:30pm and we made plans for tomorrow. We will head over to school in the morning and get a little bit of information in the morning. Mostly, we will touch base with student services here and try to see if they have any leads on housing. Then, we're probably going to head over to REI to see if there are any last-minute items we need before camping tomorrow night. Then, Buddy and I will go and take a look at a couple places before we head out to the campsite. So, that's the plan for tomorrow and I have a sleeping bag calling my name.

under the stars...

So, we are in Arizona. The drive was most unique as we went from dry, cool Colorado Springs to warm, sunny Albuquerque to cold, snowy Flagstaff to rainy Phoenix. It was apparantly the first bit of moisture the metro Phoenix area had seen in about 140 days. Unfortunately for us, the foot and a half of snow downpouring on the highway extended our drive nearly two hours and finding lodging was pretty much impossible. We had hoped to stay at the Econo Lodge, but that, like every other hotel we came across was booked full. It was nearly 1am and we were facing some serious sleep deprivation and the only thing we could do was to pull out our camping gear. Not knowing the area, we couldn't possibly find a campsite. So, we decided that it would be best to find a safe place to sleep in the car. I thought that the only place we could honestly stake claim to would be the Mesa campus of ATSU. In the back of my mind, I had hoped that the building would be open and we could possibly find the Arizona equivalent of The Dungeon and possibly plop ourselves on a sofa or two. Unfortunately, we arrived on campus and found a completely dark building and vacant parking lot. So, we found an out of the way spot, parked the car, and put both front seats into full recline mode. We have unrolled our sleeping bags and will wait for the sun to wake us up.

on the road...

The whirlwind of quarter 6 is officially over. As best I can tell, I passed all of my classes and may have done even better than last quarter. Although this is great, it is somewhat surprising given my utter lack of motivation these past days. Even so, classes are done, finals have been taken, and I am halfway to Arizona.

For the most part, Buddy and I left right after the Principles of Medicine final this morning. Because he needed to drop off his dog, he volunteered to drive his car. Given my history of mid-trip narcolepsy, I gladly yielded. We were immediately faced with a couple of obstacles. First, Buddy's car radio went on the abberantly stopped functioning; no static, no signal - nothing. We thought we were saved when it magically sprang to life about twenty miles outside of town but were then dealt a cruel trick of fate when we were pulled over by highway patrol and Buddy was forced to turn off the car. As is Missouri custom, the trooper had him sit in the car as he went through the ticketing motions. The radio would not be reanimated for the remaining miles of the trip.
This would be bearable if I were able to make conversation, a skill in which I am deficient. It was like an awkward twelve-hour haircut where I sat silent as the barber made painstaking efforts to start a conversation. I felt even worse as my eyes began to feel the weight of sleep deprivation. Before I knew it, I would be unconscious with my head dangling aimlessly from my torso. All I could imagine was the mind-numbing boredom I must have been providing.

Regardless, we have safely arried in Colorado in the gracious care of Buddy's parents. We plan to have a short breakfast tomorrow before continuing the drive out to Arizona. Hopefully I will provide better company following a restful night of sleep.

tomorrow is a long time...

As the end of the quarter gets closer, I'm confronted with a bizarre mix of excitement and panic. The last few weeks have been horribly trying and I am eagerly anticipating the upcoming break.

Although the upcoming week is actually finals week, I'm fairly certain that last week was far more taxing that this week will be. As always, I was fairly busy with a couple committments in addition to the regular coursework. Although classes were fairly light, we had an exam every day. When we weren't taking an exam, most of us were studying for nearly ten hours straight. It was that cycle that we as medical students are all too familiar with - wake up before sunrise, take an exam, and study until bedtime. Although we have become very familiar with this routine, I think this past week was the first time that we have been expected to repeat it so frequently.

In addition to the normal stress and pressures that come along with the exams, this week had a very unique set of stressors that I had not noticed before. Because I had various commitments that required me to be a little more flexible with my schedule, I was attending classes on a more unpredictable schedule. This included coming in late, leaving early, or not even attending at all. Having been a traditional "class-goer," this made me really adapt my studying habits. It was really strange to feel like I was losing touch with a lot of the people I have become so accustomed. It was an awkward feeling of isolation and dissociation.

What made that even more stresful was that I was getting a strange sensation of cabin fever. The number of exams had pretty much forced us to our habitual study grounds. As most of us have marked our territory in our favorite study areas, we grew familiar with another group of people. While we often spend six hours of each day in class with the same people, this past week was absolutely mind-numbing with the amount of time spent with the same people. Often times, I was spending nearly every waking minute with the same people, studying in the Anatomy Building. There was almost no reprieve from the quirks and idiosyncracies of our classmates. It was a strange juxtaposition of losing touch with one group and spending so much time with another that cause some sort of potentiation, an additive effect. As the end of the week approached, all I could think about was curling up in my bed and think of nothing other than oblivion.

Fortunately, we were blessed with a string of great weather. Wednesday was exceptionally warm and sunny. The wind was steady, but gentle. I headed over to the study lounge after our Pharmacology Exam where Nate Jenson and I decided that there was absolutely no way we would be able to stay inside. Although I had planned on spending the entire afternoon in there again, I walked into the room, dropped my backpack on the desk and knew there was no way I could possibly spend another twelve hours plastered to the wooden chair staring at my pathology notes. We drove off to Thousand Hills to enjoy the sun and weather. We wound up finding an area on a hill by the lake and sat there, contently looking over our notes. Esther and Ben eventually joined us for a long overdue change of scenary. Although it was only four hours, I strongly believe that that brief move out of the Anatomy Building gave us the ability to refocus and recharge before heading back to the grind.

By the time Friday had rolled around, I had become such a ridiculous ball of nerves that I could do nothing but relax. It was time well spent. After a great lunch at Il Spazio, Aaron, Jeremiah and I joined Nate Scherer at the Dukum and played shuffleboard over Guiness for nearly four hours. I can't say that I noticed the time pass, possibly partially due to the volume of Guiness, but more so due to the fact that we weren't studying. It was another great instance of time well spent. The day ended with a birthday dinner for Danielle and Buddy and the post-dinner at Dukum. It had been such a long time since I had been out and it was long overdue.

I spent most of yesterday recovering from the week. I slept in until about 9am and ran a couple of errands. Sadly, this included attending to an oversized pile of laundry that had been accumlating in the hallway. I had even gone so far as to move the laundry bin into the hallway to remind me that this had been long overdue. Surprisingly, the dishes were done - a fact I attribute to the ridiculous amount of fast food that I was forced to ingest during the hectic schedule of the previous five days. After taking care of my apartment, I headed across the street to print off several additional materials I would need to start studying for our actual "finals week." There was a little tutoring after that, and a little volleyball - the first bit of physical activity I had allowed myself during that week.

That night, I was fortunate to spend time with my friends from the "left side." I find it funny that I constantly categorize my friends by the side of the classroom they sit on. It's actually a common phenomenon in our class. Anyway, we were at Dusten and Nicole Wessel's for a very different Saturday evening of drinks and cards. It was a great experience to interact with the guys I spent most of my time with last year. It was especially nice because they, like I are typically "class-goers." Because of my unpredictable schedule, I haven't been able to walk into class and sit in my usual spot next to them. In addition, I haven't been able to get into school during the typical times to study with them. In a sense, I had the uneasy feeling that we were losing touch with each other despite being in the same class with them. So, being able to hang out with them was such a great time.

With that being said, I'm sitting on my couch on Sunday night. I called it an early night for studying and I will likely be up early tomorrow morning to review for the Surgery final. One thing I will say that has been a great inspiration is a video I found while poking around the internet. It's called Kintaro Walks Japan. I was watching it and was instantly reminded of those words from Dr. Vick's wake that I alluded to earlier; "Go somewhere - anywhere. Do something - anything." The past couple days have been filled with some uneasiness about the upcoming trip I planned out to Phoenix for apartment hunting. I hope to take some time out at the end of the trip to visit Zion and Arches National Parks. I've been there once with my family on a summer vacation, but I suspect that I was too young to fully appreciate it. So, in the vein of both Dr. Vick and Tyler MacNiven, I hope this small road trip will be inspiring and invigorating.